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Total Recall (Part B) Its not all elephants and donkeys in the California recall circus. The Green Party vote will be divided four ways in this race, splitting the Cheech vote from the Chong. There are a couple of Libertarians in the running. Their plan is to win and immediately recall themselves. There are also a couple of Natural Law Party candidates. Among other natural laws, they strongly support gravity. Meanwhile, 100-year-old Mathilda Spak didnt make the final recall ballot. Ms. Spak deserves the write-in vote of anyone who wants to see https://experience.tripster.ru/tours/russia/kareliya/letom/ the next governor go out the old-fashioned way. But this is no time for cynicism, dude. In fact, I would like to thank personally the following California natives and transplants for not entering the race: Ozzy Osbourne, Sean Penn, Charles Manson, Dennis Rodman, Charlie Sheen, Kato Kaelin, Robert Blake, Heidi Fleiss, David Lee Roth, Pamela Anderson, Kid Rock, Tommy Lee, Darryl Gates, Snoop Dog, the original domestic cast of Baywatch, Ashton Kutcher, Marcia Clark, Mark Fuhrman, Darryl Strawberry, Don Henley, and all living members of the Dead. By not feeling lucky, Clint Eastwood has made my day. Though it leads the country in elective surgery, we should not envy California. The state has big problems, not the least of which is a $38 billion deficit. Sounds like the perfect time for a massive tax cut for the rich. Strangely, however, I feel that by living on the east coast, Im missing the action. I could have garnered 65 Californian signatures just by gathering rejection letters Ive gotten over the years from Hollywood screenwriters agents. And unlike some of the real candidates, I have a platform: No more Laci Peterson stories. No more Kobe coverage. And no more recalls. Most Californians dont serve out their jail sentences, their 12-step programs, or their marriages. They should be allowed to serve out their terms to elected office If nothing else, California has been entertaining to a fault. Continual, year-round, term-round campaigning could thrive only in the state that brought you Star Search. The Golden State hasnt been so flooded with coverage since the St. Francis Dam broke. And coverage, after all, is what this is all about. Understandably, California had been upset at being upstaged by many of the other 49 states in such current event categories as droughts, wildfires, civil unions, terrorist threats, and anti-smoking legislation. Something had to be done. Climbing back atop the news heap was well worth making itself the laughing stock of a nation where most stocks are laughable. But after being so callously excluded from this latest blackout, look for California to bust one more move during sweeps. As the political climate thaws, the time may become ripe for a Ted Williams candidacy. Hes already a head. Perhaps the recall was destiny, not unlike that of a large coastal land mass sliding into the sea. California, after all, is where the great westward migration ended. When people can no longer run from their roots, they have to run from themselves. Or in this case, for themselves. The recall phenomenon symbolizes not only the final American geographical frontier but also the once sacred barrier between public life and private life. Between competence and incompetence. Between representative government and box office gross. Between high elected office and a career move. Between civic service and PR. Between problem-solving and marketing. Between thinking clearly and looking good. For too many Californians, actually helping their communities by serving on the PTA or the chamber of commerce is too concrete and boring to make the reel. Only the prospect of a Faustian leap from nobody to top gun overnight tickles the fancy of folks who came out to LA to co-star with Bruce Willis in Die Hard III but wound up as an extra in Jade. Click here to rant back. |